You’ve heard it all before right? “You can’t quit”, “giving up is for the weak”. While this is true most of the time, here are 5 things that you need to quit right now for the sake of being truly happy.
1. Stop trying to please everyone.
This is a tough one to crack.
One thing that needs to be realized here is that not everyone cares about us as much as we may initially perceive. Our own insecurities manipulate us into believing that they do. Most of the time people don’;t give a second thought about you. While this may seem harsh; the reality is that they are too invested in themselves to worry about dabbling in others personal affairs. The ultimate reason that you believe they are well invested in you is because you are too invested in them, works both ways see? A few things that you need to start doing Today!
- Be confident: Strive to be confident in every aspect of your life and yourself in general. Be confident in your own abilities and skills. Know your self-worth and don’t expect anything less. Walk with your head up and shoulders back. Maintaining good posture automatically makes you externally and internally portray confidence.
- Invest in yourself: Unlocking your own potential through progressing one’s self is an extremely powerful tool. Utilizing the modern resources we have at our disposal today is an awesome way of setting the pace and getting the ball rolling for the future. Naturally by investing in yourself you will not have the time to be investing in others therefore eliminating your previous notion of trying to please others.
- You are #1: Be honest with yourself and set your priorities straight. Your number one priority in your life should be you. Look after those around you and care for those in need but never at the expense of your own mental health. Lastly be your own person, don’t let others influence your decisions. This is your life, your journey…do what makes YOU happy.
2. Quit fearing change
Change is inevitable, change is scary, but change can also be a good thing and benefit you immensely. In order to progress you need to change in some respect. Whether this is from a mental aspect (mindset adjustment) or a physical aspect (moving towns for more opportunity or acquiring a new set of skills) changes usually need to be implemented in order for progression and growth to occur. These do not need to major changes either, set small goals and build upon them. It would be worthwhile reading my previous article (https://ironwarriorfit.com/personal-goal-setting-the-s-m-a-r-t-way/) for more info on goal setting.
3. Quit living in the past
The first girl I ever fell in love with expressed that she just didn’t ‘feel it’ anymore. I was evidently devastated. This was way back in 2015. For 18 whole months I would go back through all our old messages looking for a band aid or maybe even a sign that there was still something to salvage. This ultimately lead to more heartache and misery.
I realized shortly after, what I was looking for had died a long time ago. I was playing a very dangerous game that affected my ability to continue forward for the good part of nearly 2 years. My mental health had suffered a serious blow at this point constantly wondering why I was never good enough, All the while I missed out on nearly 2 years of personal growth all because of my obsession with living in the past.
Now, as you can see from my personal experience above this is very dangerous in terms of personal development. Rather than make my mistakes, I want you to take the time to grieve, pick yourself up and reinforce your broken self with positive thoughts. This can be hard but you can do it. Read this article if you find yourself struggling to regain control:
4. Quit putting yourself down
Self doubt well and truly ties in to every point mentioned so far. For you to make things happen, you need to know your self-worth. First and most important thing is to stop putting yourself down. Your mind is your biggest weapon but it can sometimes be your greatest enemy if not utilized properly. With all the crap going on around us on a day to day basis relevant to what we actually let in; it doesn’t really make sense to put internal pressure on ourselves based on our own exposed insecurities and flaws. You can’t escape your mind, so don’t use it against yourself. Again I invite you to click on the link I posted leading directly to my blog regarding mindset and resilience:
5. Quit overthinking
As I alluded to previously in this article; you can’t escape your mind. Our mind is very complex in its nature and ability to filter certain messages, thoughts and feelings. In a lot of situations we feel how we want others to react. For example: going back to my experience previously mentioned; I felt sorry for myself, jumbled with a little bit of regret, mixed in with a whole load of self-doubt. You can very easily see in this instance how one thought becomes many. Tapping into your self-control can handle this to a certain extent but ultimately you would want to become proficient at filtering all your thoughts. This, in turn will negate any possibility of a breakdown which can happen due to overthinking.
Utilize these 4 steps to help you regain balance and take control over your mind:
- Breathe: You are only human. It is human nature to feel things. Again take your time to grieve but don’t dwell on the past.
- Reset: Meditate or go for a walk. Doing something that can help ease and reset your thoughts and feelings here is crucial to regaining ground.
- Refocus: Refocus your thoughts and efforts to ‘your happy place’ or your passion. Use your feelings to your advantage here.
- Recommit: When you finally have a steady grasp of your thoughts and control of your feelings you are now ready to recommit. Recommitting is a slow process and it should be undertaken as such. You do not want to go all in here. Start slow, set some minor goals but most importantly go easy on yourself. Going to hard on yourself at this stage will allow negativity and self-doubt to creep back in. You obviously do not want this.
Time to quit!
Drop these five things and within time you too will see an alternative. You will be able to see blue skies where there used to be Grey. Green grass where it used to be dead and new horizons and opportunities right at your fingertips. You will have discovered the gateway to happiness.